


YOUTH

by artificialmac



Series: Blue Neighborhood [8]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Lesbian AU, Multi, Smut, Underage Drinking, cis girl au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Widow’s parents are out of town for her birthday, so there’s only one thing to do... throw a party, of course!
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Jaida Essence Hall, Jackie Cox/Gigi Goode, Jackie Cox/Jan Sport, Jaida Essence Hall/Jan Sport, Nicky Doll/Crystal Methyd
Series: Blue Neighborhood [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708849
Comments: 17
Kudos: 34





	YOUTH

**Author's Note:**

> I'm SORRY this took so long to get out! Thank you for chillin in the meantime. Ur a star.
> 
> All my love and (socially distant) hugs to Meggie for betaing this mess.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

This was shaping up to be the worst birthday of Widow’s life.

Not only were her parents out of town, attempting to save their failing marriage with a weekend getaway, but her boyfriend of almost a year had a hockey tournament that he was ditching her for.

Not really ditching her, she supported him going. It was senior year and there were supposed to be talent scouts. She supported him going, she just wished it had been a different weekend, because now she was stuck with an empty house and no plans for her 18th birthday. Which was really sad when she thought about it. 

She could just get an outrageous amount of candy and put herself into a sugar coma as she watched shitty reality shows, but something about that plan made her feel sadder.

So she did the next best thing. Widow sent a simple text explaining the situation to the group chat Crystal had made a few weeks back following their night of quite possibly illegal shenanigans in defense of Heidi’s honor. 

She had never seen her notifications light up so fast.

Heidi Hoe: awww i’m sorry 

Heidi Hoe: we can still have a party 

Crystal Balls: Yeah!!! Where do you wanna go, Widow?

Big D Dahlia: did som1 say party?????

Big D Dahlia: i got drinks 

Geeg: what kind?

Jacqueline: chill out, ya alcoholic

Big D Dahlia: my dad owns a liquor store

Big D Dahlia: ill bring the big guns

Mr. Jansident: Be discrete about it, guys! Underage drinking is illegal!

Big D Dahlia: u got it mr president 

Widow: I guess you guys can come to my house then

Mr. Jansident: What about decorations? 

Heidi Hoe: crystal and i got those 

Crystal Balls: Yeah!!

Widow: Oh cool! Then I guess we can plan for 9pm? Does that work for everybody?

A Damn Water Filter: Can we bring a plus one?

xxaidenedgelordxx: y 

xxaidenedgelordxx: u wanna invite ur bf?

Widow: Yeah, you can bring someone, but not like a lot of people, okay?

A Damn Water Filter: Sounds good.

Pepe le Nicky: Works for me!

Geeg: me too

Jaida E. Hall: sounds fun

Rock Sand: I can help with decorations if I’m included in the invite... 

Pepe le Nicky: Of course you are invited.

Widow: Yeah, you guys are all invited. 

Rock Sand: :)

Widow: Thanks, guys. This will be fun!

* * *

Jan got to the party late.

It went on her very short, very finite list of times she had been late in her life. The other two times were due to no fault of her own, her mother’s alarm not going off causing them to nearly miss their flight, and when her brother got violently ill before a soccer game, making them have to pull over on a busy highway.

As she knocked on the door, present neatly wrapped in one hand, she felt nerves pool in her stomach. It had been a few weeks since she had seen everybody apart from her usual circle, and while the night at Heidi’s had felt somewhat like a dysfunctional family reunion, she wasn’t sure if it would translate the same way tonight. And there was alcohol involved, which always added a new element to interactions.

Jan had prepared her excuse ahead of time. She had a soccer game in the morning and couldn’t risk being hungover in front of her teammates. Not a complete lie, she did have a game, but she wasn’t attending, this weekend being solely dedicated to homecoming prep.

The door swung open, revealing a beaming Widow on the other side.

“Happy Birthday,” Jan called, thrusting the gift out in front of her. 

“Awww, thanks, Jan!” Widow smiled, pulling her in for a hug that should have been more awkward, seeing as the two hadn’t had physical contact in over a decade.

They pulled back and Widow opened the door wide, motioning for Jan to follow her inside. The birthday girl led Jan through the house, passing familiar faces before coming to the kitchen and setting the gift lightly on the counter.

Jan couldn’t help but notice the frankly startling amount of booze covering the kitchen. Brightly colored cans, clear liquors, and a boatload of beer bottles had made a home out of the countertops.

Widow noticed her eying the display and turned to her with a grin. “What’s your poison?”

Jan opened her mouth to give her rehearsed speech, but was cut off by Jackie calling out over her. “Give her what I have.”

Before Jan could protest, she had an arm wrapped around her shoulders, and a very warm Jackie pressed to her side.

“Nah, I don’t wanna hear it, Janice.” Jackie shook her finger, grasping a red solo cup in her other hand.

“Jacks—”

“C’mon,” Jackie pleaded, batting her eyes adorably. “You trust me, right?”

Jan rolled her eyes at her friend’s obvious attempt at persuasion, turning to look at Widow who was holding a cup out to her.

Fuck it. She thought. She deserved a break.

“What’s in it?”

Widow shook her head, “You don’t wanna know.”

Jan’s eyes widened fractionally.

“Don’t worry about that, just drink,” Jackie encouraged, taking a sip of her own beverage. 

Jan rolled her eyes and took a swig of the bright red liquid, finding that it actually tasted kind of sweet. The bitterness hit her after a second though, and she must have made a face because both Widow and Jackie shared a chuckle at her expense. 

She rolled her eyes at the two and took the opportunity to survey her surroundings. Gigi was chatting animatedly with Dahlia and Brita on the couch. Aiden was off in the corner next to the speaker, staring daggers at the aforementioned group. Crystal and Heidi were milling around the room, whispering to each other and tweaking the decorations when they thought no one was looking. Nicky and Rock were holed up in their own corner, smiling mischievously as they took everyone in.

And then there was Jaida. 

Just the sight of her made Jan’s stomach drop to her feet.

They hadn’t spoken in a week. It was like they had pressed rewind to a month ago when neither of them had been particularly aware of the other person’s existence. Not that Jan knew what she’d say if they actually had talked.

Something like, ‘Hey, sorry I kissed you. I don’t think I meant it, but then again nothing has been going according to plan for the past few weeks and I feel like I’m going crazy.’

Jan didn’t know what to say. In truth, she was still processing herself. The only thing she knew for certain was that she missed the closeness. She missed feeling seen.

“Should we do something to get everybody to mingle? Like a game or something?” Jan asked.

“You got an idea?” Jackie raised an eyebrow.

Jan shrugged. “I mean, what do teenagers usually do at these kinds of things?”

Widow snickered. “Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

“Half of us are straight,” Jan countered.

“That’s the fun part.” Jackie winked. And yeah, she was definitely tipsy if her glazed eyes were anything to go by.

“Did someone say Seven nutes in Heaven?” Gigi called out over the music, abruptly halting all other conversations.

“Oh god.” Jan rolled her eyes.

Evidently most everyone was down to play, the group awkwardly circling up in the living room, Jaida lifting the coffee table up and out of the way so that people could sit on the floor.

They all just stared at each other for a moment, waiting anxiously for someone to make the first move.

Dahlia took the liberty of chuckling bitterly and downing her beer in one go before placing it on the carpet in the middle of the group.

“I think Mr. President should go first.” She smirked sitting back, something hard passing behind her eyes.

Jan balked at this, but suddenly there were ten pairs of eyes on her, waiting eagerly for her reaction. She took a swig of whatever it was that Widow had given her, wincing again at the bitter flavor hitting the back of her throat before reaching for the empty bottle, flicking it as hard as she could.

As it made the rounds, Jan’s mind began to race with possibilities. What if it landed on Brita? Or Crystal? Or Dahlia? Each situation unfolding in her mind resulting in extreme awkwardness and some irreversible embarrassment.

But none of her mental worries could prepare her for when the bottle finally slowed, landing on Jaida.

The room went quiet, save for Dahlia mumbling ‘typical’ under her breath, fire behind her words.

Jaida’s face didn’t give anything away, the All Star player simply shrugged and stood up, offering Jan a hand.

Jan took a breath in and out, attempting to quiet her racing thoughts. She took another sip of her drink before accepting Jaida’s hand.

“Down the hall to the right,” Widow called after them.

Jaida followed her instructions down the beige hallway and to a small white panelled closet. She opened the door and allowed Jan to shuffle in before following after and closing the door behind her, plunging the two into blackness a moment later.

Jan attempted to put as much space between them as physically possible, which was difficult seeing as the massive winter coat at her back forced her forward.

The two stood there in silence until quiet conversation could be heard from the rest of the group.

Jaida broke first, whispering into the darkness. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jan responded softly.

The awkward tension in the air only grew with each passing second, making Jan’s already spinning head, turn that much more violently. 

“I’m sorry about the other day,” she blurted out.

Jaida sighed, but she didn’t sound upset. “Are you okay?”

Jan felt herself relax a bit at Jaida’s concerned tone, recognizing it as the basketball player genuinely asking.

“Yes. No?” Jan shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Jaida offered lightly.

Jan sighed. Where to begin? 

She opened her mouth to explain, to give a short and clear answer that made sense and didn’t hurt anyone and wrapped everything up with a nice neat little bow. 

But she couldn’t.

In any other situation, it would scare her how comfortable she felt in Jaida’s presence. The safety and intimacy coming alarmingly naturally to her. Maybe that’s why her mouth took over, spilling out her innermost thoughts and fears like they were meant to be heard by someone else. 

“Ever since the rumor about… us started going around I got really… uncomfortable and I didn’t know why. For a while, I worried I was secretly homophobic this whole time and was a horrible person.” Jan chuckled bitterly. “Turns out, I just didn’t like people knowing before I did.”

Jaida placed a cautious but gentle hand on Jan’s shoulder, the contact warming Jan’s insides. 

She really had missed this.

But Jan wasn’t done with her word vomit evidently because she kept talking. “I kissed you because I had all these people in my ear asking questions and wanting to know how I felt and I didn’t know how to answer them because I didn’t even know myself,” she rambled. “I think.” Jan took a breath. “I think I just wanted to see if it was true.”

Jaida nodded encouragingly. “Was it?”

“I think I like girls.”

The words came tumbling out of Jan’s mouth before she could stop them. And yet, as soon as they had left her lips, Jan felt a wall inside her crumble. A rush of emotion flooded to the surface, threatening to pull her under, but Jaida’s hands on her shoulders kept her steady, gave her something to cling to.

Jaida let her ride it out, whispering words that Jan only passively heard, but the meaning was still there.

She didn’t realize she had been shaking until she stopped, her body aching at the motion.

Jaida pulled her into a quick hug a moment later.

Jan pulled back, worry etched into her brow. “I don’t have feelings for you,” she rushed out, entirely too defensively. 

Jaida laughed, bright and loud. “That’s fine,” she managed to get out in between giggles. “I won’t take it personally.”

Jan scoffed and hit her playfully on the shoulder, which only caused Jaida to laugh more.

When the two finally quieted back down, the weight of what Jan admitted fell back on her shoulders.

“You know I’m here for you, yeah? For anything.” Jaida assured her, squeezing her hands gently. “I don’t mind if you just want to practice on me.”

“Practice?” 

“Like,” Jaida gestured vaguely, “being with girls or whatever.”

“Oh.”

_Oh._

“I’m just offering,” Jaida said softly. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“I should have drunk more,” Jan lamented.

Jaida laughed again, shaking her head fondly. 

“Okay, just… tell me if I’m doing this right?”

Jaida nodded, and Jan noticed her setting her shoulders, bracing herself.

Jan leaned forward slowly. Using her hands to trace the outline of Jaida’s face in the darkness, she could feel the older girl smiling lightly at her hesitance. For some reason that made her feel more at ease.

The first word that popped into her head as she pressed their lips together was wet. 

It was wetter than when she kissed Bryce. And soft. So much softer. And Jan felt the roots of her hair tingle at the contact.

She started moving her lips slowly against Jaida’s, the older girl letting her set the pace at first, but before long they were panting hotly against each other’s mouths getting lost in each other’s taste.

A sudden rapping on the closet door caused them both to jump apart.

* * *

Jackie did her best to ignore the way her stomach flipped unpleasantly when Jan and Jaida returned, color high on both of their cheeks as the group of girls whooped and hollered. 

Jan only blushed deeper, covering her face playfully. She sat down next to Jackie and giggled close to her ear. The mixed drink had definitely gone to her head because Jan wouldn’t stop giggling. 

Or touching her. 

Under normal circumstances, Jackie would be singing internally at the contact, but Jan didn’t smell like Jan anymore. And that made the fact that she was hanging off of Jackie’s shoulder that much harder to bear. 

Jackie just downed the rest of her drink, the buzzing in her head not doing enough to combat the sickness in her stomach. 

When the group of girls finally stopped chattering amongst themselves, they turned to Widow who was seated on the other side of Jan.

The next pairings went quickly, Jackie only half paying attention as Widow and Rock, Dahlia and Heidi, and Heidi and Nicky, disappeared down the hall, each pair coming back cackling at the absurdity.

Then Crystal was up. 

The young artist smiled sheepishly when everyone turned to face her, but she set her cup aside and leaned forward to spin the bottle around. As the group watched the bottle make the rounds again, Jackie noticed Crystal crossing her fingers behind her back. 

Then it came to a stop in front of Gigi. And the air in the room went still.

No one moved a muscle. The music from the speakers being the only sound echoing in the living room.

The two exes looked anywhere but each other.

The rest of the group did the same, staring down at their drinks.

Everyone waited as the seconds ticked by, until Jackie, emboldened by her liquid courage, and her subsequent anger at Jan, reached across the floor to spin the bottle herself, it landing on Gigi yet again. 

Brita chuckled. “Now that’s an odd pairing.”

The tension in the room seemed to ease a bit as Jackie stood up, expression neutral. 

Gigi stumbled up onto unsteady legs and shot Jackie a salacious wink, to which the older girl just rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it before.” Gigi teased lightly, heading down the hall backward, eyes never leaving Jackie’s face.

Jackie shook her head as she chuckled. “You are so full of yourself.”

Gigi smirked. “I could be full of something else-”

“Jesus.” Jackie groaned, practically shoving her friend inside the cramped closet.

“Hey!” Gigi shrieked.

“Oh hush.” Jackie chided.

Gigi pouted for a second before getting a wicked glint in her eye, a look that made dread pool in Jackie’s stomach.

The younger girl inched closer, pressing her body up against Jackie’s as the older girl backed away.

“What are you doing?”

Gigi didn’t stop, pressing closer and closer until her hot breath was fanning out against Jackie’s cheeks. For some reason, Jackie didn’t stop her either.

“Oh c’mon,” Gigi whispered hotly. “It’s not like either of us is dating anyone.”

Jackie’s brain wasn’t functioning at its normal capacity, thoughts slow and sluggish against one another, but she still recognized that this was a bad idea. 

They were both drunk and Jackie was pissed off. She recognized that her anger was unjust, which only made her more pissed off, but also only further cemented in her mind that this was a bad idea.

She and Gigi, despite being the only two gay friends in their group, hadn’t ever made the moves on each other, both opting instead to fall for girls they could never have. Which was why now, as Gigi pressed closer, invading Jackie’s space it struck her as strange. She wasn’t sure why now all of a sudden Gigi seemed hell-bent on getting a rise out of her. 

Of course, Jackie had thought about it. Gigi looked like... Well, that, and Jackie was only human. But there had never been feelings there. Just… curiosity.

Still, that curiosity seemed to be getting the better of her. Or maybe it was Gigi pressing hot kisses against her neck, or the pooling anger in the pit of her stomach, or the air heating up around them

“C’mon,” Gigi husked against the shell of Jackie’s ear. “Pretend I’m Jan.”

Jackie’s stomach churned at her words, eyes flashing dangerously as she pushed Gigi back against the wall, crowding into her space. 

“You’re such a bitch.”

Before Jackie could think better of it, she crashed their lips together. Teeth and tongues battled against each other, and it felt more like a war than a kiss, but Jackie didn’t care. 

It felt wrong.

It felt good.

“Not half bad, Jaqueline,” Gigi teased, pulling back to smirk up at her.

“I’ll show you half bad.” Jackie mocked, grabbing Gigi’s wrists in one hand and pressing them forcefully above her head.

Gigi gasped against Jackie’s lips and the older girl smirked triumphantly, pressing her leg between Gigi’s parted thighs. 

Jackie’s body was on autopilot, her movements delayed, yet forceful as she fought against her better judgment.

“Jesus, Jacks,” Gigi breathed. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

Jackie didn’t know why Gigi was pretending to fight; her whole body was vibrating with need.

Jackie pressed her thigh up against Gigi’s underwear more firmly this time, earning her a gasp that was quickly stifled.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Jackie accentuated her point by leaving bruising kisses against Gigi’s neck.

“Make. Me,” Gigi spat.

Jackie rolled her eyes. “You are such a brat.”

“I love when you talk dirty.” 

“I hate you.”

Gigi scoffed. “Changed my mind, stop talking and fuck me.”

Jackie pretended to think it over. “Hmmm, no. I don’t think I will.”

“Jackieeeee,” Gigi whined high and loud.

The older girl cut her off with a firm hand over her mouth. Gigi’s eyes practically glazed over at the show of force, and Jackie felt her face heat up at the reaction. “I’m not gonna be another one of your little conquests. If we’re doing this, I’m in charge. You got it?”

Gigi nodded, body going pliant under Jackie’s hands.

“Good.”

Gigi moaned against Jackie’s lips as the older girl’s hand found its way up her tennis skirt, brushing against her inner thighs teasingly.

“You’re cute when you’re non-verbal.”

Gigi went to talk back, but Jackie pressed two fingers into her mouth, effectively silencing her.

Jackie continued her assault on Gigi’s neck, leaving angry red marks that stood out against her pale skin. She also trailed her hand up to the waistband of Gigi’s panties, snapping the elastic against her skin a few times just to hear the younger girl whimper.

Jackie was reminded of their time limit and hastened her efforts, dipping her hand into Gigi’s underwear and tracing around her slit, wetting her fingers, before plunging two inside her. 

Gigi threw her head back with a moan, knocking against the wall in the process. It didn’t seem to rattle her though as her hips started to thrust down, fucking herself on Jackie’s fingers.

Jackie’s thumb came up to work Gigi’s clit in short fast circles, causing her to cry out once more.

Gigi came quickly with an aborted moan that there was no use muffling, the sound echoing off the walls.

Just as soon as Gigi’s body stopped shaking, they heard a tentative knock on the closet door.

* * *

When Gigi and Jackie returned, hair mussed, outfits askew, Brita didn’t know what to think.

It seemed no one did, as the room was silent, save for Heidi’s muffled giggles into Nicky’s side.

“Let’s do something else, yeah?” Brita threw out, as much of an attempt to save herself as to lessen the weird tension in the room.

Everyone agreed.

“Truth or dare?” Heidi posited.

“What are we, in middle school?” Aiden rolled her eyes.

Brita shot her a glare that was promptly ignored.

Aiden had been relatively silent all night, her usual biting wit being replaced with scowls and annoyed commentary. Brita couldn’t help but think maybe she had something to do with the other girl’s poor mood. 

Or maybe she was just like that.

Brita went to snap back at her, but Dahlia cut her off with a bitter laugh that made the hair on the back of Brita’s neck stand up.

“I thiiink it could be fuuun,” Dahlia slurred, turning to set her sights on Jaida. “Truth or dare?” She asked nursing another empty beer bottle close to her chest.

Jaida, clearly taken aback by the sudden attention, looked back at her skeptically. “Uhhh, truth.”

“Who were you making out with in that photo?”

Suddenly the tension was back, beating down everyone’s neck. 

“Dare,” Jaida responded coolly.

Dahlia rolled her eyes. “Fine, I dare you to tell us who you were making out with in the photo.” 

Jaida tightened her jaw. “No.”

“Oh c’mon.” Dahlia scoffed, locking her sight on the group of cheerleaders. “One of you knows.” She pointed a finger accusingly.

“Just leave it alone, D,” Widow said camly. 

Dahlia ignored her friend’s pleas and turned to look at Jan with a wild glint in her eye. “I just wanna know why Little Miss Perfect is cheating on one of the best fucking guys in this damn town.”

Jackie tried to intervene. “Dahlia—”

“You stay out of this,” Dahlia snapped. “Just cause you’re in love with her doesn’t mean you have to defend her all the damn time.”

Jackie balked at this, shrinking in on herself at the harsh words.

“Dahlia, seriously, cut it out,” Widow said firmly. 

Brita stared on helplessly as Dahlia continued her interrogation.

“Who was it?” Dahlia practically yelled, head whipping around to glare at each of the girls.

There was silence.

And then there was a snicker.

“You guys haven’t figured out that was Gigi yet?” Aiden rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink. “God, you really are fucking stupid.” 

The air in the room went still.

Slowly, all nine pairs of eyes turned to look at the pair. 

It was silent for another beat.

And then, before anyone could blink, Gigi darted out of the room.

“Shit,” Dahlia cursed, standing up and running on wobbly legs after her.

The rest of the girls watched on in shock as Jaida stood up slowly, staring daggers at Aiden, before storming out the front door and slamming it behind her.

“What the fuck just happened?” Jackie asked incredulously.

“Aiden happened,” Jan mumbled.

“How did you know?” Brita turned accusingly toward Aiden.

Aiden shrugged. “I have my sources.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a lot of sources don’t you?” Brita snapped.

“The fuck are you implying?” Aiden spat back, the venom in her words ringing out like a slap.

Brita was taken aback by the harshness, unconsciously flinching away from the younger girl. 

She didn’t know what to think. 

Her friend had lied to her. Let her make a fool of herself for weeks. And it hurt. It hurt mostly because it meant Gigi didn’t trust her enough to share the details of her life. She didn’t trust Brita. And Brita had shown her every reason not to.

And now here Aiden was, outing her friend, raising hell, causing a scene. For what? Because she was bitter? Because she liked the power? Because she was trying to get back at Gigi for something? Because she was just a bad person?

Brita shook her head at the last thought. No. No, Aiden wasn’t just a bad person. There had to be a reason for this.

Suddenly all the pieces clicked together in Brita’s head.

But Crystal beat her to the punch.

“You run the drama account,” Crystal said in realization. 

“What?” Jan asked shakily. 

“Oh please!” Aiden attempted to come off blase, but her hand trembled slightly by her side. 

“You run it,” Brita whispered softly, eyes searching Aiden’s face for a _why_ , “don’t you?” 

For a split second, Aiden’s mask fell, seeing the genuine hurt in Brita’s eyes. She stared at the cheerleader for a beat, eyes wide, scared almost.

But her stone-cold facade came back a moment later. “Don’t have secrets you aren’t smart enough to keep.”

The stunned silence of the group acted as a backing track for Aiden’s exit.

Brita watched her walk away for the second time that week.

* * *

After the bombshells were dropped, the party spirit died out quickly. 

The girls apologized to Widow, wished her a good rest of the night, and went their separate ways. 

Crystal watched them scurry back to their respective houses from her spot on Widow’s front lawn. 

The artist, not ready to go back home just yet, stretched out her legs in the grass, mentally wincing at the damp ground she felt under her legs. She smiled in spite of it though, the breeze on the back of her neck tossing her hair. It was a welcome relief from the stifling feeling from inside.

Her mind was blank, actively tuning out the past few hours, not ready to process everything yet. 

So she sat on the wet grass, breathed in the late night smell of freedom, and lamented that everything in life was temporary.

The sound of footsteps got her attention.

Heidi smiled weakly down at her and motioned to the space on the grass. Crystal made a sweeping gesture as if to say ‘be my guest.’

The two sat in silence for a while, letting the night air fill the space between their lungs.

After an immeasurable amount of time, Heidi turned to Crystal and spoke softly, her voice mimicking the breeze.

“You told me she cheated, but not with Jaida.”

Crystal sighed.

“Why did you keep her secret?” Heidi asked.

Crystal shook her head, “I dunno, I guess I just thought it was embarrassing.”

“Being cheated on?” Heidi questioned.

Crystal nodded. 

It was more than that though. 

It was being cheated on with someone so incredibly powerful, someone who Crystal could never measure up to. Jaida, even in their freshman year, stood out. Turning heads, setting records, she was always going to make it big. 

She was always going to be a star.

“I thought it meant I wasn’t good enough for her,” Crystal admitted, rubbing her hands together absentmindedly. “Everyone thought she was so perfect. It must have meant something was wrong with me that she found someone else.”

“Oh, Crystal.”

Crystal shook her head. “I sound pathetic, huh?”

“Yeah.”

The artist chuckled dryly. “Thanks.”

“Only ‘cause I know you’re such a badass.” Heidi bumped their shoulders together. “The Crystal I know is a fucking icon. She wouldn’t let some girl psych her out of that.” Heidi smiled. “Well, maybe a certain French girl not included.”

Crystal laughed, full bellied and brash, the sound lighting up the air around them, echoing off the houses of the girls she knew too well by now.

“Touche.”

They were interrupted by the sound of more footsteps, Rock and Nicky rounding the corner a moment later. The two stopped in their tracks when they noticed the girls on the grass, Nicky and Crystal making eye contact for the first time in what felt like weeks.

Crystal was surprised to see not an ounce of pity in the French girl’s eyes, but rather an apology. 

It wasn’t necessary.

She nodded minutely and Nicky’s face broke out into a hopeful smile.

“Do you guys want to come hang out with me and Rock?” She asked. “We were gonna play Dungeons and Dragons.”

“We need an elf in our party!” Rock chimed in hopefully.

Crystal looked to Heidi, who stared back warily. 

She chuckled, turning back to Nicky. “Let’s go, nerds.”

* * *

Widow had just started cleaning up the mess that was her home when she noticed another presence in the room. 

She looked up to see Jaida with her back to the far wall, arms crossed in front of her chest. Her eyes were hard with that ever-present wall up, lingering just beneath the surface of her expression.

Widow leaned over to pick up another cup, tossing it lightly into the trash bag in her hand. Jaida watched her.

“Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna help me?” 

Jaida’s arms uncrossed and she let them fall down to her sides, pushing herself off the wall in one smooth motion before beginning to grab stray bottles and cups from around the room.

As she plunked them down in the trash bag, she and Widow made eye contact.

It was the closest the two had physically been since freshman year. 

They had been seated next to each other for freshman orientation. After Widow’s third sly comment under her breath at the principal’s expense, Jaida finally broke out, cackling, drawing several glares from the faculty and almost landing the both of them in detention before school had even started.

They were thick as thieves from then on, terrorizing teachers, running amuck throughout the school, skipping class to smoke behind the athletic shed. 

Attached at the hip. 

Two peas in a pod. 

Partners in crime. 

The dynamic duo.

And then Jaida tried out for the basketball team. And Widow lost her.

It was funny when she thought about it. How important they seemed to each other then.

And now here they were. Perfect strangers.

Widow sighed. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Jaida’s eyes flashed. “Who are you, my mother?” she snapped.

As soon as the words left her lips, Widow could see she regretted them.

“I’m sorry.”

Widow nodded. “It’s okay.”

She couldn’t imagine what Jaida was feeling. But a part of her wanted to know more. So she pushed.

“Why’d you keep it a secret?” She threw out. “It’s not a crime to sleep with someone.”

Jaida shrugged. “I didn’t want people to look at me different.”

“Are you kidding? Everyone adores you.”

Jaida scoffed. “Yeah, well it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like a fuckload of pressure. I can’t even fucking breathe without letting someone down.” Jaida’s breaths were coming out quick and rushed. “I wanted to do something thoughtless.”

“Yeah, well maybe fucking a cheerleader and lying about it wasn’t the best way to do that. Go get a tattoo or something like the rest of us.”

Jaida laughed. “That probably would have hurt fewer people, huh?”

Widow nodded.

She reached back down to pick up a cup but stopped herself.

“I got the stuff for a stick-and-poke, you wanna?”

Jaida’s eyes widened comically. “Oh my god, are you serious?”

Widow shrugged. “I’m not Crystal, but I can trace.”

Jaida looked at her hard for a moment, sizing her up almost. 

“Fuck it.”

* * *

Widow looked back over at the photos from the past few months. Her boyfriend smiling in his hockey getup, Dahlia with a face mask on trying to hit the camera out of Widow’s hand, Heidi in a shopping cart, the neighborhood girls circled up on the floor before all hell had broken loose, Jaida’s still reddened YOUTH tattoo.

The frozen pieces of time watched her back.

She smiled at each of them, letting the feelings wash over her in waves. 

Even the bad ones. 

That was one of the many reasons she loved photography. Even the bad memories looked beautiful on film.

As her eyes fell back on the picture of the girls, she felt herself let out a breath.

Maybe a quiet night in with herself and her snacks hadn’t been such a bad birthday plan after all.


End file.
